LaUgH Its A JOkE

Signboard Outside A Prostitute's House:
Married MEN Not Allowed.
We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy...

~~~~~~


Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the
Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny.
I mean to ask if I can take this
train to New Delhi .
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid
it's too heavy.

~~~~~~

A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a
commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his
table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately
responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll
have a
scotch and soda."

~~~~~~~

Man Quits Smoking Because Of Will Power.
He Quits Drinking Because Of Will Power.
But He Quits Womanizing Because He Has
The Will But No Power.

~~~~~~~

Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we
serve everyone.

~~~~~~~

Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop
or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the
difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?

~~~~~~~

Little Susie came running into the
house after school one day,shouting,
"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school
today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her
daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me
about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got
50 in spelling, 30 in math's and
20 in science."

~~~~~~~

Customer : Waiter, there's a dead
beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very
good swimmers.

~~~~~~~

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my
soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he
won't drink much.

~~~~~~~

Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled
tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems.
Give the menu card.

~~~~~~~~

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly
swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to
do, call a lifeguard?

~~~~~~~

Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning
of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a
waiter, not a fortune teller.

~~~~~~~

1st thief : Oh! The police is here.
Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for
superstitions.

~~~~~~~~

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I
was born.

~~~~~~~~

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes
funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't
you laughing?

~~~~~~~~

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for
school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I
was playing football and the game
went into extra time.

~~~~~~~~

An absent-minded man went to see a
psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep
forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?'
asked the psychiatrist.
' How long has what been going on?'
said the man.


~~~~~~~~


Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.


~~~~~~~~

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.


~~~~~~~~

Customer : If I post this letter
tonight, will it get to Delhi in two
days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely
will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

Trust You Had Some Laughs..!!